Well, it's my first day being a stay at home mom with a 5 week old baby that I THINK has colic...
I'm tired, but that's normal. I just wish that I wasn't so task oriented. I have things that I would like to get done. Of course they take a back seat to my beautiful daughter, but lately, she doesn't nap unless she's being held.. we're not sure why, it's just come about. I wonder about colic. I know that they cry for no reason- except gas (we have Mylicon for that..)- and that they are hard to console. She's fine to console, just don't put her down. She'll wake right up and scream!
It's my first day feeling like I haven't got all the tools to do my job. Is there a learning curve? Am I putting too much pressure on myself to be the "perfect LDS mom"? with a perfect child, who looks perfect all the time (she does in my opinion, and who can handle the bills, laundry, scrapbook, blog, house work, and crafts all at the same time and be able to look perfect doing it? More than likely, the way I feel is my fault. We all do that to ourselves at one point or another. I just don't know how to get around it. I want to be productive, and not have my house a mess when Doug comes home from school. I have cute things to paint for Daisey's room that I want to get done, but the scrapbook crap has to be put away first, which means it has to be caught up so it can be put away..which means there has to be a free closet somewhere that I can put it. So many things and I am just not sure that any of it is going to get done.
So here's to hoping that tomorrow is a better day for Daisey. Here's to hoping that she naps well so that she can grow, and I can get something done besides expanding my rear end because I am sitting on the couch. Here's to hoping that one day, I'll find that perfect balance that will even it all out. Here's to hoping that I can be the mom that I have always wanted to be, perfect or not.
I think everybody feels inadequate sometimes! Especially seeing such a sweet & beautiful baby that you are somehow supposed to provide everything for. I know I still feel that way & Reagan is 13 months old! My advice would be to enjoy Daisey in every stage & every way (even the crying?) because they grow up so fast. & don't be too hard on yourself...you are still adjusting to being a new Mom & sleepless nights really do a number on productivity. There will always be dishes & laundry to be done, just keep your priorities straight & keep loving that girl!
ReplyDeleteI second Paige's comment. Just remember that no matter how inadequate you may feel at being a mom, hold on to the comfort that Heavenly Father sends us our specific children for a reason. We can mother them in a way that no other mom could to that specific child. Daisey is your daughter because you are the perfect fit for the mom that she needs. It is a great responsibility, but I find so much joy in that thought when I'm struggling with Brig. I know his spirit was sent to our family and that I am the mom that fits him best - even when I don't feel like the 'best' mom. I can tell from your posts that you are being a great mom!
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